What I've learned since being struck by a serious illness

"You're gonna be happy, said life. But first I'll make you strong"

Being struck by a serious illness is very eye opening. It makes you completely reconsider everything you were ever taught and believed in. It makes you take a serious look at your life and your priorities, along with the way you were living. I want to share with you, some of the most important things I've learned on this long and hard road. This is a little bit different from what you normally read out there, because it addresses more than "Tell others you love them" and similar. I hope this will be useful for you.

THIS IS MY BLUE PRINT

Pay attention to whom your energy increases and decreases around. It's a sign from your body saying "more of this person" or "less of this person". We all outgrow people and some people are just weighing us down. To fully move onto the next level in life, sometimes you need to let people go. It'll feel liberating.

Some of us like to think that we can do it all on our own, that we need nobody for nothing. In reality, human beings are social animals and we need deep connections and relationship with others. It is very important that all of these connections and relationships are healthy. Having a strong support system in your life will always help you and lift you up, and give you a sense of security, knowing that if things goes to shit, you have something to fall back on. If someone in your life won't support you, that's another type of person that needs to go. You can still support someone even if you don't necessarily agree with them, so if someone won't support you, they are actively choosing not to. Why? That we don't know. But we do know they will always be negative and crush your self esteem and hope of a better future. These type of people don't deserve your love and affection. They don't deserve a spot in your life. You need people that show up for you over and over, the rest can leave.

If someone treats you badly, IT'S ON THEM. Not on you. How someone treats you is not a result of who you are as a person, but a sign of who they are as a person. Read that twice. Remember it. Feel it. Don't forget it.

There is a toxic form of stress

Your emotional health is more important than anything, as it will help prevent any physical illness in the body. Stress is the number one cause of all chronic illnesses in the world. Facts. It is extremely important to know that stress is not only "I have to make it to this meeting in time". There is toxic form of stress that we normally don't think of and it's incredibly harmful. It's stress like "I feel trapped in this toxic relationship and I can't leave" or "I don't like my body. I hate seeing what I see in the mirror" or "I hate where I live, I wish I lived somewhere else. This doesn't feel like home" or "I hate my boss. He/she is so degrading towards me" or "I feel so lonely and worthless. Does anyone really like me anyway?". It's more important than anything to address these type of stresses and resolve them. We don't want to move into the maladaptive stress response which is when the body is in chronic fight, flight and freeze mode. Not only is it extremely exhausting to be in a stress response all the time, but it is also what causes illness and hinders your body from healing itself.

Remember that old situations and people will pop up just to test you. Don't slip.

Don't allow someone to treat you poorly because you love them.

Saying no and setting healthy boundaries is crucial for emotional health. It is what keeps you peaceful inside. If you always put others before you, you teach them that you come second. You're the lead character in your world, so act like it. Put yourself first. (Rule #1, don't be #2). The way you love yourself is how others will love you too.

Giving must come from a place of love and compassion. If it comes from any other state, it will create resentment towards the person/thing you're giving to. Only give from a place of love and kindness.

People only believe what they can see, but it's not your job to prove yourself and your truth to others. What is true is true, no matter what opinions others may have. Others may have opinions about facts, and try to ignore that. The sky is blue, you can't be debating this. It's the same for your truth. However, there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes you will get the opportunity to show your truth to others and that can be healing for your soul. And honestly, sometimes people just need to be put in their place. (But remember that people only understand from their level of perception, and some people will just never change their mind simply because they don't want to.)

If it doesn't open, it's not your door. You can try to force things in life over and over, but if it wasn't meant for you it will never last. 

People don't change unless they want to themselves. Don't hope for anyone to change except yourself. If you want to change yourself, be persistent. Don't give up until you get the results you want. But never wait for anyone else to change. Changes take a lot of time and a lot of work, with a lot of errors down the road. If you're waiting for someone to change, you could end up waiting for a lifetime. You can so easily break your own heart waiting for someone else to be better. If you want someone to change, it means they're not good enough for you, right? And if you let them stay in your life, you'll put yourself through a lot of pain. It is important to remember that yes, people do things to us and it affects us, but in the end of the day, it is up to us to say; this is not okay, and remove ourselves from the person or situation. We have the power to decide how much pain others puts us through. 

It's really important to look back at memories and think "Wow, that was amazing, I'm happy I experienced that" rather than being upset or resentful because it's gone. 

Practice gratitude. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. No matter what your situation looks like. There is always something.

Life is only as good as your mindset. The thoughts we think can either make our lives beautiful or it can completely wreck everything beautiful we have.

Lastly... pain makes beautiful people.

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Note

I've never talked openly about this subject before. But I wanted to share this because it is something so close to my heart. If you are healthy, remind yourself every day that there are no limits for you. You don't have a body that stops you from doing anything. You are free. When we are alive and healthy it is so easy to take our health for granted, to take our life for granted. Please take a moment every day to connect with all the good things in life. Be grateful for all those things and all the possibilities you have. Every time you run, run a little bit for those who can't. Every time you dance, dance a little bit for those who can't. And every time you live, live a little bit for those who can't.